Running Away

This weekend I'll be out of town and I'm looking forward to seeing my friends and Family but at the same time I have realized that I'm running away from my memories ( impossible) to try to get some mental sanity.
I don'd feel like writing to much
so this is it

It is what it is

Dreams

Today I woke up three times, and every time I woke up was when a dream was getting to a specif point. I can't remember the first dream now, but I still have in my mind the second and the third one. I've been trying to understand why those two dreams are in my head which is a stupid way of trying  to deny reality, because from the moment I woke up I knew why they were here and why they will be here for a long time. Let's face the fact that both dreams involve someone that is very important in my life and unfortunately she is no longer part of it- My Ex- Girlfriend. I won't write her name 'cuz is not important nor relevant. the only information I will give so far is that I've been without her for three weeks, and these have been the longest and hardest weeks of my entire existence.

I don't want to digress from the main subject here-- the dreams-- but I must admit that dreaming of her is quite weird because during the two years we were together I never dreamt of her and now that I don't have her she comes to my mind.
And here lies my biggest doubt, is my subconsciousness trying to get rid of my memories of her?, or is it trying to bring her back to my life?

Honestly, I can't fucking figure it out (excuse my french) because none of the two dreams  were memories, one was a fictional situation putting her back in my life ( I would love it to be like that) and the second dream was me asking her questions, trying to understand the reason of the break  up and the reason why she has a new boyfriend in such a short time ( i think  you can't forget 2 years of relationship in 2 -3 weeks especially if the days before the break up you were arranging things to live together).

No matter the reason for my dreams, I am sure that my subconsciousness is fucking me up, cuz I know it is impossible to be back together and I think that to forget is necessary not to remember. But, Obviously nothing is so easy, maybe these dreams has a connection to something i read the other day:
" The bitterest tears shed over graves are for words left unsaid and deeds left undone." Harriet Beecher Stowe 


Probably my mind is trying to do what I did not do, and say what I did not say. because in the end
It Is What It Is.

True friends,

Today i was talking to a friend of mine and she told me something that kind of caught me off guard,
she told me that I was a true friend, and that made me think. What is a true friend, how do you qualify to be a true friend, am I worthy to be a true friend.
Maybe I am, but if I am a true friend, does it mean that I have true friends too, probably it does not work like that, but I am quite sure that I do have true friends, (like 3 or 4 no more) and the rest is just people I happen to know and spend time with.
Most likely one day i will analyze the ones I know and the ones I love
In the end, It is what It is

First day.

This is my first day with a blog and I know it's not gonna the last day, it's just a way of saying what i need to say not caring if anyone reads it (eventhough i wanted it to be read).
with time i will be uploading ideas, topics, or even music to share my life with the rest of you ppl
If you dont understand English,  I will probably write the same things in Spanish.

I just hope to enjoy this and make the best of it cuz in the end
It Is What It Is

Peace.