There are times I wonder if what I lived with you was real. I know it sounds weird but occasionally I think that might have been just a glimpse of what my life could be  with you, or could have been, yup, could have been cuz there is no you and me now, and there will never be. I believe that destiny plays games on us, showings us just a piece a great movie, and when you think that everything is ok, the fucker kills the main character and fucks everything up.



Fuck you destiny.

Unique

the other day i was talking to someone and she said something to me that really got me. after that I started thinking bout it and I came up with this weird idea.

What is to belong, to be part of something,?

Most people try hard as fuck not to be common , to be different,  To Be UNIQUE, but most of them make a big mistake, they always try to be part or at least be identified with a group, and obviously, once you do that you are not unique because you are adopting manners, and other things from that group.

 What really strikes me are the reasons why we try to be unique or why we try to be part of a group. I think society has big role in this. We are every day in front of a computer or TV screen with images telling us what to buy, how to act in certain situations, what to do if you want to be successful in life and a bunch of other things and when people are weak, they fall for it.

On the other hand when you are against it you become part of that other group who see themselves as unique human beings, ( and they aren't cuz there a bunch of guys and girls doing the same thing while trying not  to be common).

Is it that bad to be similar to someone else, to be common? or is just a way of dissaproving the current system which makes us feel like bricks inna wall. replaceable objects without minds.



 
 

suck it up.

back again, :)

Back Again

It’s been a couple of months since the last time I wrote something,  I can give you a lot of reasons for it, but honestly, I would not know for sure which one is real.

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my future, not just because I am worried about it, it is something else, and something I can explain. Maybe I’m getting old and I think that I need to do something important with my life; maybe I think I need to be successful.

After new year’s everyone was  asking about  my plans for the future and I got tired of making shit up, the truth is that I have no freaking clue of what to do with the present and these people want me to know what to do with my future; I mean , give me a break. I can admit that I have some ideas of what to do, but no more than that.

These ideas come from everywhere and unfortunately all of them have a requirement in common: MONEY.  I know that I have to work - I am working – but somehow I manage to find jobs that I know won’t last for long or when I do find  a steady job, I get bored ; therefore leaving it seems a pretty good idea.

Don’t get me wrong, I have a kind of radar to find jobs; I have no difficulty at that whatsoever, and I enjoy working as long as is not permanent.

Going back to my “future” I have laid out a plan to go abroad and work, I have been thinking about going to Canada in a special work and travel program (which I think is a cool idea).  My family and friends tell me that is cool and that I should do it, and most likely I will if I don’t find anything else.

Another idea is to apply for the “special police force” here in my country (idea that has been in my head for at least 3 years), and of course there is a But : I love weed  even though I don’t smoke it regularly   and most of my acquaintances are under some kind of illegal substance.

And the last idea (I know is not recommended to begin a paragraph with an interjection but who really cares) is to study abroad, I have been searching for universities in Europe but that is just an idea that has not been developed yet.

Oh! and last but not least ( I know I said last before) I want to study again in a Chilean university and this week I will start studying for the university entrance test ( that will also help me for the police force test). This might be the weakest idea just for the fact that I am close to turn 30 and 4 years of study will have a great impact in my chances of getting a job after finishing university once again.

As you can see, I have no fucking clue, but as we all know

It Is What It Is.